Posted on July 31 2016
Getting three children dressed and ready to leave the house is an epic task.
You know that movie, 50 First Dates? Where Drew Barrymore suffers a head injury and each day when she wakes, all her memories have gone? The guy that is in love with her, Adam Sandler, has to basically reintroduce himself everyday and get her to fall in love with him.
I am Adam Sandler, and my kids are Drew Barrymore. Each day, my children wake, forgetting that they go to school.
Every day, I wake them up. I creep in, gently kiss them and whisper, 'wake up my darling, it's time to get up'. They are so gorgeous, sweet smelling, warm and snuggly. I am always overcome with love at this point, wondering how I got so lucky. They lightly stir and roll over, not quite ready to face the day.
I go back to the kitchen and start to make my coffee. While the machine is heating, I walk back to their rooms. Treading heavier this time, making my footsteps heard. I remove the doona from their scrunched faces, still gently, but firmer than before. 'Guys, come on, up you get'. At this point I am met with some resistance. The doona goes back up. I pull it back down. They groan. Flip over and bury their sleepy heads in their pillow. 'Five more minutes' they mutter.
Back to the kitchen I go where I add the finishing touches to their lunch boxes, fill their water bottles and pack their bags.
This time I mean business. Sh*ts getting real. Down the hallway I go, flipping lights with purpose, my voice getting louder. 'Right. Up. Now'. Their bedroom lights are on, I tear their doona's back. They screech at me as though I have doused them in boiling oil. 'What are you doing? Turn off the light! My eyes!'.
Nice, Mary Poppins mum has gone. I'm suddenly the evil stepmother from Cinderella. They cannot believe the injustice of being woken from their slumber.
Unnecessarily, or so I think, I yell, 'get ready for school!'. They stare at me like I am speaking a foreign language. As if they have never heard of school, and that we haven't been doing this bullsh*t routine for over 5 years.
To calm my rage, back to the kitchen I go, pour my coffee, and take a sip. Heaven. I need it. It's good. Essential. They wander out. I take a deep breath, force a smile, and ask what they want to eat. I am met with blank stares. 'Guys! Food! Breakfast! What do you want?!' 'Nothing', they mumble, and head to the coonara, where I have placed their uniforms to avoid the imminent 'I can't find my uniform' struggle.
They fight. One is getting more heat than the other. One's clothes are warmer than the other. One pointed their bum at the other and farted. Shrieks of 'NO I DIDN'T, I HATE YOU, YOU ARE A SOOK, YOU LIKE HER BETTER THAN ME' begin.
2 year old is now awake and up. Excellent. Just what I need. He's so cute and cuddly in the morning in his Toy Story pj's. The girls flock to him and inevitably fight over him. He's smart. He plays them against each other. More tears and screams ensue.
I put out the cereal, bread, Nutella and vegemite and call out 'help yourself'. Lazy mother you say. Whatever. I don't care what you think. I tell them I'll be back in five minutes, and that when I am, I want them sitting at the table, dressed and eating.
I have a cigarette. Check Facebook, emails, Instagram, play angry birds. 5 minutes peace. I can hear them inside. I know they are not following instructions.
I go back in and am met with cereal on the ground. No one is dressed, the TV is on. I was a firm believer in no TV in the morning but it's the only way to keep 2 year old occupied. So I allow it. But they are ALL watching it. Glued to Toy Story like they haven't watched it 543 times this week. 'No! No no no no!' Breakfast now!' 'I want French toast' says one. 'I want fruit salad' says the other. 'You have to get up earlier than you do if you want stuff like that for breakfast', I say. I slice a banana in a bowl each, dump yoghurt on it and declare it a fruit salad. Or a deconstructed smoothie. Whatever. They eat it.
Once again, I tell them to get dressed. I can tell they are hearing me but it's not sinking in. They are still shocked that they must get dressed. I am the one shrieking now like a deranged hag, and as I head to the shower, I hear them mutter things like 'psycho' and 'what's her problem'.
I take a four minute shower, as I don't trust them to be unsupervised for any longer. They still manage to interrupt my shower time by using the toilet, flushing it while I'm in there, burning me in the process. 'Sorrrrry' they say, smiling sweetly. I know they aren't. They meant it, probably even planned it. It's my punishment for making them get up and get dressed.
My short but sweet shower has somewhat calmed me, and as I'm drying off, I call out, 'are you guys ready? Clothes, shoes, hair, teeth, iPads?' 'Yes mum!', they lie. I shouldn't have mentioned iPads. Why did I do that. I quickly dress and head out to the lounge room. Miss 9 is dressed. Sitting on the couch doing a Musical.ly video on her iPad. Miss 6 is half dressed with Nutella in her eyebrow, taking selfies on her iPad. They jump up as they see me, they know I'm mad. 'Im ready!!' says Miss 10. I raise my eyebrow. That does it. I have fierce eyebrows. She is in the bathroom brushing her teeth in 2 seconds. Miss 6 is oblivious. She's still taking selfies but is now pirouetting as well. She's just started dancing. I grab her like a baby, wash her face, put on her pants, do her hair, and lead her to the bathroom. I put her toothpaste on her brush and stand there like a teacher supervising a test. She does a mediocre job, slower than a sloth, so I take over and brush her teeth. She spits. Half in the basin, half down her shirt. Happy days. She wipes it with her wet hand, smearing it further so it looks like a pelican has shat all down the front of her. Deep breaths. Pick your battles. At least people will know she actually brushed her teeth. That's important.
I quickly dress Mr 2. This is like wrestling an oiled piglet. I shove him into his clothes while he is shooting me with 'rays' and pretending to be a race car driver, complete with sounds. I am covered in his spit from said sound effects, but it's time to go.
We are all ready, all we need to do is get in the car. Simple!
No.
I open the front door, and suddenly everyone is conscientious. They want to be first out the door and in the car. This causes jammed fingers, screams, and tripping. When my front door opens, it's as if my house has suddenly given birth to screaming demented massive triplets. Sorry neighbours.
We get in the car. Seatbelts are on. I reverse out the driveway and we are on our way. I hear a very quiet 'muuum' from the back seat. My eyes flick to the rear view mirror. Miss 6 shrinks in her seat. 'I forgot my water bottle'. 'I put it in your bag' I tell her. 'I took it out again' she says. I breathe and try not to plant my foot on the accelerator. Luckily my car is as untidy as my house. I reach behind me and pull an empty pump bottle from under the seat. Crisis averted.
We arrive at school. We made it. We hop out and walk in. I kiss goodbye like mother of the year, tell them I love them and that I'll miss them. I'm lying. I love them. But I won't miss them. Not until I've gotten home and cleaned up the aftermath of the morning.
This is not an extraordinary day. This is every day. I've gotten up earlier, I've tried routine, I've tried everything. I've made their breakfast, they don't eat it. Nothing seems to make the mornings go any smoother. They still manage to move slower than the sloths in Zootopia.
I'm sure when they are grown up and gone, and the house is quiet, with no hustle and bustle, I'll look back on these days with fondness. I'll laugh about Nutella in the eyebrows and pelican crap on the shirt. But now? Man it's hard.
Claire
You know that movie, 50 First Dates? Where Drew Barrymore suffers a head injury and each day when she wakes, all her memories have gone? The guy that is in love with her, Adam Sandler, has to basically reintroduce himself everyday and get her to fall in love with him.
I am Adam Sandler, and my kids are Drew Barrymore. Each day, my children wake, forgetting that they go to school.
Every day, I wake them up. I creep in, gently kiss them and whisper, 'wake up my darling, it's time to get up'. They are so gorgeous, sweet smelling, warm and snuggly. I am always overcome with love at this point, wondering how I got so lucky. They lightly stir and roll over, not quite ready to face the day.
I go back to the kitchen and start to make my coffee. While the machine is heating, I walk back to their rooms. Treading heavier this time, making my footsteps heard. I remove the doona from their scrunched faces, still gently, but firmer than before. 'Guys, come on, up you get'. At this point I am met with some resistance. The doona goes back up. I pull it back down. They groan. Flip over and bury their sleepy heads in their pillow. 'Five more minutes' they mutter.
Back to the kitchen I go where I add the finishing touches to their lunch boxes, fill their water bottles and pack their bags.
This time I mean business. Sh*ts getting real. Down the hallway I go, flipping lights with purpose, my voice getting louder. 'Right. Up. Now'. Their bedroom lights are on, I tear their doona's back. They screech at me as though I have doused them in boiling oil. 'What are you doing? Turn off the light! My eyes!'.
Nice, Mary Poppins mum has gone. I'm suddenly the evil stepmother from Cinderella. They cannot believe the injustice of being woken from their slumber.
Unnecessarily, or so I think, I yell, 'get ready for school!'. They stare at me like I am speaking a foreign language. As if they have never heard of school, and that we haven't been doing this bullsh*t routine for over 5 years.
To calm my rage, back to the kitchen I go, pour my coffee, and take a sip. Heaven. I need it. It's good. Essential. They wander out. I take a deep breath, force a smile, and ask what they want to eat. I am met with blank stares. 'Guys! Food! Breakfast! What do you want?!' 'Nothing', they mumble, and head to the coonara, where I have placed their uniforms to avoid the imminent 'I can't find my uniform' struggle.
They fight. One is getting more heat than the other. One's clothes are warmer than the other. One pointed their bum at the other and farted. Shrieks of 'NO I DIDN'T, I HATE YOU, YOU ARE A SOOK, YOU LIKE HER BETTER THAN ME' begin.
2 year old is now awake and up. Excellent. Just what I need. He's so cute and cuddly in the morning in his Toy Story pj's. The girls flock to him and inevitably fight over him. He's smart. He plays them against each other. More tears and screams ensue.
I put out the cereal, bread, Nutella and vegemite and call out 'help yourself'. Lazy mother you say. Whatever. I don't care what you think. I tell them I'll be back in five minutes, and that when I am, I want them sitting at the table, dressed and eating.
I have a cigarette. Check Facebook, emails, Instagram, play angry birds. 5 minutes peace. I can hear them inside. I know they are not following instructions.
I go back in and am met with cereal on the ground. No one is dressed, the TV is on. I was a firm believer in no TV in the morning but it's the only way to keep 2 year old occupied. So I allow it. But they are ALL watching it. Glued to Toy Story like they haven't watched it 543 times this week. 'No! No no no no!' Breakfast now!' 'I want French toast' says one. 'I want fruit salad' says the other. 'You have to get up earlier than you do if you want stuff like that for breakfast', I say. I slice a banana in a bowl each, dump yoghurt on it and declare it a fruit salad. Or a deconstructed smoothie. Whatever. They eat it.
Once again, I tell them to get dressed. I can tell they are hearing me but it's not sinking in. They are still shocked that they must get dressed. I am the one shrieking now like a deranged hag, and as I head to the shower, I hear them mutter things like 'psycho' and 'what's her problem'.
I take a four minute shower, as I don't trust them to be unsupervised for any longer. They still manage to interrupt my shower time by using the toilet, flushing it while I'm in there, burning me in the process. 'Sorrrrry' they say, smiling sweetly. I know they aren't. They meant it, probably even planned it. It's my punishment for making them get up and get dressed.
My short but sweet shower has somewhat calmed me, and as I'm drying off, I call out, 'are you guys ready? Clothes, shoes, hair, teeth, iPads?' 'Yes mum!', they lie. I shouldn't have mentioned iPads. Why did I do that. I quickly dress and head out to the lounge room. Miss 9 is dressed. Sitting on the couch doing a Musical.ly video on her iPad. Miss 6 is half dressed with Nutella in her eyebrow, taking selfies on her iPad. They jump up as they see me, they know I'm mad. 'Im ready!!' says Miss 10. I raise my eyebrow. That does it. I have fierce eyebrows. She is in the bathroom brushing her teeth in 2 seconds. Miss 6 is oblivious. She's still taking selfies but is now pirouetting as well. She's just started dancing. I grab her like a baby, wash her face, put on her pants, do her hair, and lead her to the bathroom. I put her toothpaste on her brush and stand there like a teacher supervising a test. She does a mediocre job, slower than a sloth, so I take over and brush her teeth. She spits. Half in the basin, half down her shirt. Happy days. She wipes it with her wet hand, smearing it further so it looks like a pelican has shat all down the front of her. Deep breaths. Pick your battles. At least people will know she actually brushed her teeth. That's important.
I quickly dress Mr 2. This is like wrestling an oiled piglet. I shove him into his clothes while he is shooting me with 'rays' and pretending to be a race car driver, complete with sounds. I am covered in his spit from said sound effects, but it's time to go.
We are all ready, all we need to do is get in the car. Simple!
No.
I open the front door, and suddenly everyone is conscientious. They want to be first out the door and in the car. This causes jammed fingers, screams, and tripping. When my front door opens, it's as if my house has suddenly given birth to screaming demented massive triplets. Sorry neighbours.
We get in the car. Seatbelts are on. I reverse out the driveway and we are on our way. I hear a very quiet 'muuum' from the back seat. My eyes flick to the rear view mirror. Miss 6 shrinks in her seat. 'I forgot my water bottle'. 'I put it in your bag' I tell her. 'I took it out again' she says. I breathe and try not to plant my foot on the accelerator. Luckily my car is as untidy as my house. I reach behind me and pull an empty pump bottle from under the seat. Crisis averted.
We arrive at school. We made it. We hop out and walk in. I kiss goodbye like mother of the year, tell them I love them and that I'll miss them. I'm lying. I love them. But I won't miss them. Not until I've gotten home and cleaned up the aftermath of the morning.
This is not an extraordinary day. This is every day. I've gotten up earlier, I've tried routine, I've tried everything. I've made their breakfast, they don't eat it. Nothing seems to make the mornings go any smoother. They still manage to move slower than the sloths in Zootopia.
I'm sure when they are grown up and gone, and the house is quiet, with no hustle and bustle, I'll look back on these days with fondness. I'll laugh about Nutella in the eyebrows and pelican crap on the shirt. But now? Man it's hard.
Claire
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I just want the whole world to know about this spell caster I met
two weeks ago, I cannot say everything he has done for me my wife
left me 3 years ago left with my kids I was going through online
when I meant this wonderful man’s testimony online I decided to
give it a try and my wife is back to me now and we are happily
married again cause is too much to put in writing all I can say is
thank you very much am very happy Contact him today on oseremenspelltemple@gmail.com or whatsapp him on +2348136482342. www.facebook.com/Dr-odion-spell-temple-110513923938220
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I want to use this opportunity to tell the whole world on how I become rich and famous. I’m 93 years old. I was passing through difficulty in business and there was no hope of me coming out of my debt. I borrow money in my bank to do my business and I run at lost on the business I got frustrated and decided to be playing lottery to see if I can win and make my business grow and I have played for years now nothing good is coming my way on till I meet someone online talking about Dr Ayoola on the internet. He was taking about how this Dr Ayoola help him to win mega million lottery game. I said to myself if this is true and decide to contact him and told him to help me as well I later read more about this man and see how he has been helping people all over the world. I have faith in him and choose to work with him. After working with him he told me what I need to do for the number to be given to me which I did after he finish working he said I will have a dream and the number will be review to me in the dream. That night has I was sleeping I dream a number immediately he call me and gave me the same number I dream of and ask me to go and play the number. Today I’m here testifying of the good work he did for me I played the number and I won the sum of 1, 000,000 million dollars in a lotto max. You can contact Dr Ayoola for help if you want to win big in lottery game he has the gift of giving right number contact him today and thank me email him today Via email: drayoolasolutionhome@gmail. com or https://www.facebook.com/Dr-Ayoola-105640401516053/ text or call +14809032128
My name is Ashley Vivian, Am here to share a testimony on how Dr Raypower helped me. After a 1/5 year relationship with my boyfriend, he changed suddenly and stopped contacting me regularly, he would come up with excuses of not seeing me all the time. He stopped answering my calls and my sms and he stopped seeing me regularly. I then started catching him with different girls several times but every time he would say that he loved me and that he needed some time to think about our relationship. But I couldn’t stop thinking about him so I decided to go online and I saw so many good talks about this spell caster called Dr Raypower and I contacted him and explained my problems to him. He cast a love spell for me which I use and after 24 hours,my boyfriend came back to me and started contacting me regularly and we moved in together after a few months and he was more open to me than before and he started spending more time with me than his friends. We eventually got married and we have been married happily for 3 years with a son. Ever since Dr Raypower helped me, my partner is very stable, faithful and closer to me than before. You can also contact this spell caster and get your relationship fixed Email: urgentspellcast@gmail.com or see more reviews about him on his website: https://urgentspellcast.wordpress.com WhatsApp: +27634918117
I was reading through Facebook when I saw a post about the legit spell caster called Dr Kachi who has helped people in winning the lottery ticket. I’m a woman who’s addicted playing the lottery and always put all my faith in buying the ticket I lost all my money of all time and my effort trying to win my game, until I met my old friend who told me the Secret of her wealth that Dr Kachi who cast lottery spell winning number for her to play the Powerball ticket that change her life, it was she that directed me to Dr Kachi. i explained to him i want to win the Mega millions, Dr Kachi instructed me on what to do which i did and he told me to wait 24hours for him to cast the winning numbers, i went to buy my ticket and play the numbers which Dr Kachi gave to me and it was surprise when i find out i won the sum of ($109.9 Million Dollars Cash Value) for Friday night’s drawing Mega Million Jackpot and than the whole thing looks wonderful, That’s the most amazing thing i have ever experience with winning the lottery spell. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to help you win big amount in lottery game, because i am now happy with my life. words Ain’t enough to say thank you Sir. and from the deepest part of my heart, i will show my gratitude by sharing this testimony all over the world let people seek for your help to win the Lotto Game, and be happy like me today: Text Number and Call: +1 (209) 893-8075 Email: drkachispellcast@gmail.com his Website:: https://drkachispellcast.wixsite.com/my-site
i read some testimony about Priest Salami on how he has helped people in bringing back there ex within 48hours i was just thinking if that was real, And decided to call a lady who made a testimony and also dropped her number, So i called her and ask her about Priest Salami she said Priest Salami is a trustworthy man and he is ready to bring back my lover for me, i was just so happy and a little bit relief that my lover will be back to me soon, Then i decided in contacting Priest Salami which i did, And before i could share him my problem he has already told me what i came for, And he said everything will be okay within 24hours that my lover will be back to my arms, So he said he would be casting the spell and that within 24hours my lover would call me, So i hoped so truly before the 24hours i got a call from a man who has left me for the past 1years saying he is sorry and he wants me back, i was happy and i said i also want him back, Then i traveled to Canada to meet him up, And he apologized for what he has done to me now he proposed to marry me and we are both preparing for our wedding soon, All thanks to the great and World best spell caster, Priest Salami His private mail : purenaturalhealer@gmail.com
WhatsApp him directly :+2348143757229
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My name is Tom Peacock from USA, I want to say thank you to Dr Emu for the good thing he has done for me, Though am not sure if this is the best forum to show my joy and happiness for what he has done for me but i can’t hide my happiness and my joy so i have to share it with people, my marriage got crashed about two years ago and i tried all i could within my power but to no avail. I saw a post and testimonial about the good things Dr Emu has been doing so I decided to give it a try. though he is always a busy man but when he responded back to my email, he gave me 48 hours for my marriage to be restored really just like he said my marriage was restored since then I am happy and i am living happily i am so grateful to Dr Emu you can always email him here: {emutemple@gmail.com} or WhatsApp: {+2347012841542}
Omg I Finally Got Helped !! I’m so excited right now, I just have to share my testimony on this Forum.. The feeling of being loved takes away so much burden from our shoulders. I had all this but I made a big mistake when I cheated on my wife with another woman and my wife left me for over 4 months after she found out.. I was lonely, sad and devastated. Luckily I was directed to a very powerful spell caster Dr Emu who helped me cast a spell of reconciliation on our Relationship and he brought back my wife and now she loves me far more than ever.. I’m so happy with life now. Thank you so much Dr Emu, kindly Contact Dr Emu Today and get any kind of help you want.. Via Email emutemple@gmail.com or Call/WhatsApp cell number +2347012841542
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