Posted on July 31 2016
Getting three children dressed and ready to leave the house is an epic task.
You know that movie, 50 First Dates? Where Drew Barrymore suffers a head injury and each day when she wakes, all her memories have gone? The guy that is in love with her, Adam Sandler, has to basically reintroduce himself everyday and get her to fall in love with him.
I am Adam Sandler, and my kids are Drew Barrymore. Each day, my children wake, forgetting that they go to school.
Every day, I wake them up. I creep in, gently kiss them and whisper, 'wake up my darling, it's time to get up'. They are so gorgeous, sweet smelling, warm and snuggly. I am always overcome with love at this point, wondering how I got so lucky. They lightly stir and roll over, not quite ready to face the day.
I go back to the kitchen and start to make my coffee. While the machine is heating, I walk back to their rooms. Treading heavier this time, making my footsteps heard. I remove the doona from their scrunched faces, still gently, but firmer than before. 'Guys, come on, up you get'. At this point I am met with some resistance. The doona goes back up. I pull it back down. They groan. Flip over and bury their sleepy heads in their pillow. 'Five more minutes' they mutter.
Back to the kitchen I go where I add the finishing touches to their lunch boxes, fill their water bottles and pack their bags.
This time I mean business. Sh*ts getting real. Down the hallway I go, flipping lights with purpose, my voice getting louder. 'Right. Up. Now'. Their bedroom lights are on, I tear their doona's back. They screech at me as though I have doused them in boiling oil. 'What are you doing? Turn off the light! My eyes!'.
Nice, Mary Poppins mum has gone. I'm suddenly the evil stepmother from Cinderella. They cannot believe the injustice of being woken from their slumber.
Unnecessarily, or so I think, I yell, 'get ready for school!'. They stare at me like I am speaking a foreign language. As if they have never heard of school, and that we haven't been doing this bullsh*t routine for over 5 years.
To calm my rage, back to the kitchen I go, pour my coffee, and take a sip. Heaven. I need it. It's good. Essential. They wander out. I take a deep breath, force a smile, and ask what they want to eat. I am met with blank stares. 'Guys! Food! Breakfast! What do you want?!' 'Nothing', they mumble, and head to the coonara, where I have placed their uniforms to avoid the imminent 'I can't find my uniform' struggle.
They fight. One is getting more heat than the other. One's clothes are warmer than the other. One pointed their bum at the other and farted. Shrieks of 'NO I DIDN'T, I HATE YOU, YOU ARE A SOOK, YOU LIKE HER BETTER THAN ME' begin.
2 year old is now awake and up. Excellent. Just what I need. He's so cute and cuddly in the morning in his Toy Story pj's. The girls flock to him and inevitably fight over him. He's smart. He plays them against each other. More tears and screams ensue.
I put out the cereal, bread, Nutella and vegemite and call out 'help yourself'. Lazy mother you say. Whatever. I don't care what you think. I tell them I'll be back in five minutes, and that when I am, I want them sitting at the table, dressed and eating.
I have a cigarette. Check Facebook, emails, Instagram, play angry birds. 5 minutes peace. I can hear them inside. I know they are not following instructions.
I go back in and am met with cereal on the ground. No one is dressed, the TV is on. I was a firm believer in no TV in the morning but it's the only way to keep 2 year old occupied. So I allow it. But they are ALL watching it. Glued to Toy Story like they haven't watched it 543 times this week. 'No! No no no no!' Breakfast now!' 'I want French toast' says one. 'I want fruit salad' says the other. 'You have to get up earlier than you do if you want stuff like that for breakfast', I say. I slice a banana in a bowl each, dump yoghurt on it and declare it a fruit salad. Or a deconstructed smoothie. Whatever. They eat it.
Once again, I tell them to get dressed. I can tell they are hearing me but it's not sinking in. They are still shocked that they must get dressed. I am the one shrieking now like a deranged hag, and as I head to the shower, I hear them mutter things like 'psycho' and 'what's her problem'.
I take a four minute shower, as I don't trust them to be unsupervised for any longer. They still manage to interrupt my shower time by using the toilet, flushing it while I'm in there, burning me in the process. 'Sorrrrry' they say, smiling sweetly. I know they aren't. They meant it, probably even planned it. It's my punishment for making them get up and get dressed.
My short but sweet shower has somewhat calmed me, and as I'm drying off, I call out, 'are you guys ready? Clothes, shoes, hair, teeth, iPads?' 'Yes mum!', they lie. I shouldn't have mentioned iPads. Why did I do that. I quickly dress and head out to the lounge room. Miss 9 is dressed. Sitting on the couch doing a Musical.ly video on her iPad. Miss 6 is half dressed with Nutella in her eyebrow, taking selfies on her iPad. They jump up as they see me, they know I'm mad. 'Im ready!!' says Miss 10. I raise my eyebrow. That does it. I have fierce eyebrows. She is in the bathroom brushing her teeth in 2 seconds. Miss 6 is oblivious. She's still taking selfies but is now pirouetting as well. She's just started dancing. I grab her like a baby, wash her face, put on her pants, do her hair, and lead her to the bathroom. I put her toothpaste on her brush and stand there like a teacher supervising a test. She does a mediocre job, slower than a sloth, so I take over and brush her teeth. She spits. Half in the basin, half down her shirt. Happy days. She wipes it with her wet hand, smearing it further so it looks like a pelican has shat all down the front of her. Deep breaths. Pick your battles. At least people will know she actually brushed her teeth. That's important.
I quickly dress Mr 2. This is like wrestling an oiled piglet. I shove him into his clothes while he is shooting me with 'rays' and pretending to be a race car driver, complete with sounds. I am covered in his spit from said sound effects, but it's time to go.
We are all ready, all we need to do is get in the car. Simple!
No.
I open the front door, and suddenly everyone is conscientious. They want to be first out the door and in the car. This causes jammed fingers, screams, and tripping. When my front door opens, it's as if my house has suddenly given birth to screaming demented massive triplets. Sorry neighbours.
We get in the car. Seatbelts are on. I reverse out the driveway and we are on our way. I hear a very quiet 'muuum' from the back seat. My eyes flick to the rear view mirror. Miss 6 shrinks in her seat. 'I forgot my water bottle'. 'I put it in your bag' I tell her. 'I took it out again' she says. I breathe and try not to plant my foot on the accelerator. Luckily my car is as untidy as my house. I reach behind me and pull an empty pump bottle from under the seat. Crisis averted.
We arrive at school. We made it. We hop out and walk in. I kiss goodbye like mother of the year, tell them I love them and that I'll miss them. I'm lying. I love them. But I won't miss them. Not until I've gotten home and cleaned up the aftermath of the morning.
This is not an extraordinary day. This is every day. I've gotten up earlier, I've tried routine, I've tried everything. I've made their breakfast, they don't eat it. Nothing seems to make the mornings go any smoother. They still manage to move slower than the sloths in Zootopia.
I'm sure when they are grown up and gone, and the house is quiet, with no hustle and bustle, I'll look back on these days with fondness. I'll laugh about Nutella in the eyebrows and pelican crap on the shirt. But now? Man it's hard.
Claire
You know that movie, 50 First Dates? Where Drew Barrymore suffers a head injury and each day when she wakes, all her memories have gone? The guy that is in love with her, Adam Sandler, has to basically reintroduce himself everyday and get her to fall in love with him.
I am Adam Sandler, and my kids are Drew Barrymore. Each day, my children wake, forgetting that they go to school.
Every day, I wake them up. I creep in, gently kiss them and whisper, 'wake up my darling, it's time to get up'. They are so gorgeous, sweet smelling, warm and snuggly. I am always overcome with love at this point, wondering how I got so lucky. They lightly stir and roll over, not quite ready to face the day.
I go back to the kitchen and start to make my coffee. While the machine is heating, I walk back to their rooms. Treading heavier this time, making my footsteps heard. I remove the doona from their scrunched faces, still gently, but firmer than before. 'Guys, come on, up you get'. At this point I am met with some resistance. The doona goes back up. I pull it back down. They groan. Flip over and bury their sleepy heads in their pillow. 'Five more minutes' they mutter.
Back to the kitchen I go where I add the finishing touches to their lunch boxes, fill their water bottles and pack their bags.
This time I mean business. Sh*ts getting real. Down the hallway I go, flipping lights with purpose, my voice getting louder. 'Right. Up. Now'. Their bedroom lights are on, I tear their doona's back. They screech at me as though I have doused them in boiling oil. 'What are you doing? Turn off the light! My eyes!'.
Nice, Mary Poppins mum has gone. I'm suddenly the evil stepmother from Cinderella. They cannot believe the injustice of being woken from their slumber.
Unnecessarily, or so I think, I yell, 'get ready for school!'. They stare at me like I am speaking a foreign language. As if they have never heard of school, and that we haven't been doing this bullsh*t routine for over 5 years.
To calm my rage, back to the kitchen I go, pour my coffee, and take a sip. Heaven. I need it. It's good. Essential. They wander out. I take a deep breath, force a smile, and ask what they want to eat. I am met with blank stares. 'Guys! Food! Breakfast! What do you want?!' 'Nothing', they mumble, and head to the coonara, where I have placed their uniforms to avoid the imminent 'I can't find my uniform' struggle.
They fight. One is getting more heat than the other. One's clothes are warmer than the other. One pointed their bum at the other and farted. Shrieks of 'NO I DIDN'T, I HATE YOU, YOU ARE A SOOK, YOU LIKE HER BETTER THAN ME' begin.
2 year old is now awake and up. Excellent. Just what I need. He's so cute and cuddly in the morning in his Toy Story pj's. The girls flock to him and inevitably fight over him. He's smart. He plays them against each other. More tears and screams ensue.
I put out the cereal, bread, Nutella and vegemite and call out 'help yourself'. Lazy mother you say. Whatever. I don't care what you think. I tell them I'll be back in five minutes, and that when I am, I want them sitting at the table, dressed and eating.
I have a cigarette. Check Facebook, emails, Instagram, play angry birds. 5 minutes peace. I can hear them inside. I know they are not following instructions.
I go back in and am met with cereal on the ground. No one is dressed, the TV is on. I was a firm believer in no TV in the morning but it's the only way to keep 2 year old occupied. So I allow it. But they are ALL watching it. Glued to Toy Story like they haven't watched it 543 times this week. 'No! No no no no!' Breakfast now!' 'I want French toast' says one. 'I want fruit salad' says the other. 'You have to get up earlier than you do if you want stuff like that for breakfast', I say. I slice a banana in a bowl each, dump yoghurt on it and declare it a fruit salad. Or a deconstructed smoothie. Whatever. They eat it.
Once again, I tell them to get dressed. I can tell they are hearing me but it's not sinking in. They are still shocked that they must get dressed. I am the one shrieking now like a deranged hag, and as I head to the shower, I hear them mutter things like 'psycho' and 'what's her problem'.
I take a four minute shower, as I don't trust them to be unsupervised for any longer. They still manage to interrupt my shower time by using the toilet, flushing it while I'm in there, burning me in the process. 'Sorrrrry' they say, smiling sweetly. I know they aren't. They meant it, probably even planned it. It's my punishment for making them get up and get dressed.
My short but sweet shower has somewhat calmed me, and as I'm drying off, I call out, 'are you guys ready? Clothes, shoes, hair, teeth, iPads?' 'Yes mum!', they lie. I shouldn't have mentioned iPads. Why did I do that. I quickly dress and head out to the lounge room. Miss 9 is dressed. Sitting on the couch doing a Musical.ly video on her iPad. Miss 6 is half dressed with Nutella in her eyebrow, taking selfies on her iPad. They jump up as they see me, they know I'm mad. 'Im ready!!' says Miss 10. I raise my eyebrow. That does it. I have fierce eyebrows. She is in the bathroom brushing her teeth in 2 seconds. Miss 6 is oblivious. She's still taking selfies but is now pirouetting as well. She's just started dancing. I grab her like a baby, wash her face, put on her pants, do her hair, and lead her to the bathroom. I put her toothpaste on her brush and stand there like a teacher supervising a test. She does a mediocre job, slower than a sloth, so I take over and brush her teeth. She spits. Half in the basin, half down her shirt. Happy days. She wipes it with her wet hand, smearing it further so it looks like a pelican has shat all down the front of her. Deep breaths. Pick your battles. At least people will know she actually brushed her teeth. That's important.
I quickly dress Mr 2. This is like wrestling an oiled piglet. I shove him into his clothes while he is shooting me with 'rays' and pretending to be a race car driver, complete with sounds. I am covered in his spit from said sound effects, but it's time to go.
We are all ready, all we need to do is get in the car. Simple!
No.
I open the front door, and suddenly everyone is conscientious. They want to be first out the door and in the car. This causes jammed fingers, screams, and tripping. When my front door opens, it's as if my house has suddenly given birth to screaming demented massive triplets. Sorry neighbours.
We get in the car. Seatbelts are on. I reverse out the driveway and we are on our way. I hear a very quiet 'muuum' from the back seat. My eyes flick to the rear view mirror. Miss 6 shrinks in her seat. 'I forgot my water bottle'. 'I put it in your bag' I tell her. 'I took it out again' she says. I breathe and try not to plant my foot on the accelerator. Luckily my car is as untidy as my house. I reach behind me and pull an empty pump bottle from under the seat. Crisis averted.
We arrive at school. We made it. We hop out and walk in. I kiss goodbye like mother of the year, tell them I love them and that I'll miss them. I'm lying. I love them. But I won't miss them. Not until I've gotten home and cleaned up the aftermath of the morning.
This is not an extraordinary day. This is every day. I've gotten up earlier, I've tried routine, I've tried everything. I've made their breakfast, they don't eat it. Nothing seems to make the mornings go any smoother. They still manage to move slower than the sloths in Zootopia.
I'm sure when they are grown up and gone, and the house is quiet, with no hustle and bustle, I'll look back on these days with fondness. I'll laugh about Nutella in the eyebrows and pelican crap on the shirt. But now? Man it's hard.
Claire
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Hello, My name is Sarah Love Tover. I live in Dover, Delaware. My boyfriend Juan Tover and I have been dating for the past 4 yrs we were to get married but it never happened..he constantly messes around with his ex’s and other females every time he got caught he apologized and me to forgive him and I keep taking him back because I’m truly in love with this man but after a while he started messing around again. I had to do something about the situation. I went online and saw various testimonies of how people got their ex back but one testimony of Dr Odunga helped me find the right solution and I am very happy I contacted Dr. Odunga regarding my problem. My boyfriend is now my HUSBAND. We got married in United Church in Dover. My problem was solved. I am extremely happy to put his email odungaspelltemple@gmail.com to anyone out here looking to solve his/her relationship problem. You can also Whats-App him with his mobile number +2348167159012
i want to share to the whole world how Dr Kachi the Great of all the Spell Caster, that helped me reunite my marriage back, my Ex Husband broke up with me 3months ago, I have been trying to get him back ever since then, i was worried and so confused because i love him so much. I was really going too much depressed, he left me with my kids and just ignored me constantly. I have begged him for forgiveness through text messages for him to come back home and the kids crying and miss their dad but he wont reply, I wanted him back desperately. we were in a very good couple and yet he just ignores me and get on with his life just like that, so i was looking for help after reading a post of Dr Kachi on the internet when i saw a lady name SHARRON testified that Dr Kachi cast a Pure love spell to stop divorce. and i also met with other, it was about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 24 hours at the end of her testimony she dropped his email, I contacted Dr Kachi via email and explained my problem to Dr Kachi and he told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happen, that he will restored my marriage back, and to my greatest surprise my Ex husband came back to me, and he apologized for his mistake, and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day our marriage is now stronger than how it was before, Dr Kachi you’re a real spell caster, you can also get your Ex back and live with him happily: Contact Email drkachispellcast@gmail.com his Text Number and Call: +1 (209) 893-8075 his Website: https://drkachispellcaster.wixsite.com/my-site
Hello, my name is Rachel Frye and I want to give this testimony in respect of Dr. Odunga who made me win $2 Million Dollars in Lottery by matching the 5 numbers for me. I am happy to be out of financial debt and be able to help my family in these seasonal period of fun and cheer. I contacted Dr. Odunga through Whats-App (+2348167159012) when I told him to help me win the Mega Millions and He told me that it would be spiritually checked if I will win the Lottery. When he informed me that I will not be able to win the Jackpot but I will win huge amount in the lottery I was not completely sad but had great faith in him. I live in Freeland, Saginaw County, Michigan and I would say it was pretty hard to send him the money for the spell before he gave me the winning numbers to play. He sent me the numbers and I played. The next morning after the drawing, I matched the five white balls in the Aug. 4 drawing to win $1 million: 11-30-45-52-56. Thanks to the Megaplier X2, my prize was multiplied to $2 million. Thank You Dr Odunga for this wonderful experience with you. You too can contact Dr. Odunga at his Whats-App +2348167159012 or Email: odungaspelltemple@gmail.com
My name is Natasha Thompson from the USA/Texas.. Am so overwhelmed with gratitude to let the world know how Dr Kachi, the great spell caster changed my life for good. It all started when I lost my job and I was down financially and emotionally because I couldn’t be able provide for my two kids and staying home all day Jobless it’s not easy until I was checking on the internet when I saw a series of testimonies hearing people winning the Powerball lottery, I didn’t believed, but being poor no job you have no option. I gave it a try and I contacted Dr Kachi who told me what i have to do before I can become a big lottery winner and I accepted. He made special prayers for me in his temple and gave me the required numbers to play the lottery game and when I used the numbers to play it, I won a massive $344.6 million Powerball jackpot. I was so happy and I choose to review my winning in any platform, I would love other people to seek help from Dr Kachi through Text and Call: +1 (209) 893-8075 or email drkachispellcast@gmail.com by his website: https://drkachispellcaster.wixsite.com/my-site
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Good day Audience, I want to use this great medium to announce this information to the public about Mr MORRIS GRAY. few months back, I was seeking an online BTC investment plan when I got scammed for about $172,000. I was so down and didn’t know what to do until I came across a timeline about Mr MORRIS GRAY. so I reached out to him and to my greatest surprise, they were able to recover all the funds which I had previously lost to the Devils. I am so glad to share this wonderful news with you all because it cost me nothing to announce a good and reliable Hacker as Mr MORRIS GRAY, His direct email is Morris Gray 830 at gmail dot com, WhatsApp: +1 (607) 698-0239…..!!
Good day to all viewer online, my name is Albert Walker I am so overwhelmed sharing this great testimony on how i was checking for solution in the internet while miraculously i came across Dr Kachi who brought my ex Girlfriend back to me, This is the reason why i have taken it upon myself to thank this great spell caster called Dr Kachi, because through his help my life became more filled with love and i am happy to say that my ex Girlfriend who has been separated from me for the past 2years came back to me pleading for me to accept her back, This was a shocking to me my partner is very stable, faithful and closer to me than before, because before i contacted Dr Kachi i was the one begging my ex Girlfriend to come back to me but through the assistance of Dr Kachi, I now have my relationship restored. You can also have a better relationship only if you Contact Dr Kachi Website: https://https://drkachispellcaster.wixsite.com/my-site OR Email: drkachispellcast@gmail.com You can reach him Call and Text Number:+1 (209) 893-8075
My name is ashley walters !!! i am very grateful sharing this great testimonies with you all, The best thing that has ever happened in my life, is how i won the Powerball lottery. I do believe that someday i will win the Powerball lottery. Finally my dreams came through when i contacted Dr. OSE and tell him i needed the lottery winning special numbers cause i have come a long way spending money on ticket just to make sure i win. But i never knew that winning was so easy with the help of Dr. OSE, until the day i meant the spell caster testimony online, which a lot of people has talked about that he is very powerful and has great powers in casting lottery spell, so i decided to give it a try. I emailed Dr. OSE and he did a spell and gave me the winning lottery special numbers 62, and co-incidentally I have be playing this same number for the past 23years without any winning, But believe me when I play the special number 62 this time and the draws were out i was the mega winner because the special 62 matched all five white-ball numbers as well as the Powerball, in the April 4 drawing to win the $70 million jackpot prize…… Dr. OSE, truly you are the best, with Dr. OSE you can will millions of money through lottery. i am a living testimony and so very happy i meant him, and i will forever be grateful to him…… you can Email him for your own winning special lottery numbers now oseremenspelltemple@gmail.com OR WHATSAPP him +2348136482342
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HOW I GOT MY HUSBAND BACK HOME WITH THE HELP OF A REAL AND GENUINE SPELL CASTER DR IFADE TEXT OR CONTACT VIA WHATSAPP +15513334259 OR EMAIL HIM ON ifadesolutionspell31@gmail.com Regard LILIAN MORGAN. My name is LILIAN MORGAN and I am from the United States. I almost took my life because of my husband who left me and stopped picking my calls and answering my mails and my messages. He said He do not trust me anymore, I tried to convince and beg him, but he would not believe or answer me until we had a fight and broke up for 6months, after that I realized I can not live without him because of the love I have for him. I tried everything possible to get him back, but non worked for me, some fake spell casters scammed me and went away with my money until I came across this man called Dr IFADE he helped me cast a spell and behold my husband came back after 48 hours, begging me for forgiveness, I was so surprised that spell caster like Dr IFADE still exist. If anyone here needs some help, with all sincerity, contact Dr IFADE today On ifadesolutionspell31@gmail.com Contact him via is whatsapp number +15513334259 indeed you are a priest thank you for making my home a happy home again. i can never stop talking about you sir. DR IFADE is really a great man you can contact him for solution for any kind of problems like (1) lottery spell (2) ex back (3) get pregnant (4) cure for any kind of sickness, disease and infection And many others contact this great man today and get your Problems solved. Virus-free.www.avast.com