Posted on October 23 2016
I come from a fairly big family. I have a sister and 2 brothers. We are all pretty close in age, youngest 32, and me, the eldest at 38.
These people make up a massive part of my world. I adore them. I crave them. I love them so much it hurts. I would die for them. Seriously.
They were my first friends, and also my first enemies. They were my first introduction to unconditional love, and also pure -albeit short lived - hatred.
With such closeness comes hurt. When one is hurting, we feel it. When one experiences success, we rejoice in it. We celebrate each other's wins and we wallow in each other's pain. It's an inexplicable bond.
I can talk to each of them for hours. About anything. We have shared memories, experiences and heartache. We reminisce like oldies on a porch. We talk about each other. About our parents. Our family. We discuss, dissect and philosophise. We share a certain intellect and language which can sometimes be compared to a gang. It's not intentional, but has been called intimidating and exclusive to those in our circle.
We laugh like there is no tomorrow. I have never experienced more mirth than when in the company of my siblings. They are exceptionally funny people. Sometimes inappropriate, but always hilarious.
As much as there is love, we speak to each other like SH*T. Not always, but often. We've done it forever. We barely blink an eye when on the receiving end, but to the average onlooker, our tirades would blow back your hair and burn your eyeballs.
We have always done it. It has always been this way. Obviously yes, at times we can hurt each other, but we brush it off. Cos it's us. But the problem is, it's not always us. Sometimes I forget who I'm speaking to and my acid tongue flicks out like a viper. They flinch at my words and I am instantly regretful. These people have not been desensitised.
Constance Hall wrote a post on Facebook this morning. She spoke about being told that other people were bagging her. The people that screenshotted another persons vitriol obviously thought that she should know that she was being spoken about. They thought that they were doing the right thing.
I'm sure their intentions were pure, however, not everyone can handle it.
We need to use our filters. I've heard people say 'oh I don't have a filter, I just say whatever comes into my head'. I'm sorry, no. I'm not ok with that.
Think about who you are talking to. Think about the way they may react to your 'honesty' or 'opinion'. Think about whether your tone can be brushed off or whether it will be felt like a knife, slicing and cutting into someone's heart.
I've been guilty of this. I can be outspoken and insensitive. But I need to increase my own awareness.
I'll quite happily call my brother a f*cking idiot. But I'm not going to say that to the guy that stuffs up my coffee. Why? Because manners. Because OUCH. My brother won't think twice about my flippant insult because he knows me. He'll probably fire back with an equally insulting jibe. And I'll handle it. Because I know him. He doesn't really think that, and neither do I - it's our personal language. Maybe it's wrong, but we've had years of knowing our limits, our boundaries and expectations.
Next time you decide to give someone a bit of 'home truth' or tell them something 'for their own good' - stop. Really consider the effect of your words. Is that person in a frame of mind to hear it? Will you do more harm than good? If the answer is 'I'm not sure' then just don't say it.
If they are hurting or upset, and you know that they deserved it/played a part in it etc, still don't say it. Chances are they actually know that. No one is perfect. Give them a hug, or if you are anti-hugs like me - a sympathetic pat. Being cruel to be kind is not always and doesn't have to be an option.
Speaking your mind can be a liberating, wonderful thing. If it's used for good and not evil. If it's for empowering, encouraging and motivating.
Closing your mouth can be just as liberating. If it's for protection, concern and respect.
If you absolutely must say something then do it. But try and think a little first. Please.
Claire x
These people make up a massive part of my world. I adore them. I crave them. I love them so much it hurts. I would die for them. Seriously.
They were my first friends, and also my first enemies. They were my first introduction to unconditional love, and also pure -albeit short lived - hatred.
With such closeness comes hurt. When one is hurting, we feel it. When one experiences success, we rejoice in it. We celebrate each other's wins and we wallow in each other's pain. It's an inexplicable bond.
I can talk to each of them for hours. About anything. We have shared memories, experiences and heartache. We reminisce like oldies on a porch. We talk about each other. About our parents. Our family. We discuss, dissect and philosophise. We share a certain intellect and language which can sometimes be compared to a gang. It's not intentional, but has been called intimidating and exclusive to those in our circle.
We laugh like there is no tomorrow. I have never experienced more mirth than when in the company of my siblings. They are exceptionally funny people. Sometimes inappropriate, but always hilarious.
As much as there is love, we speak to each other like SH*T. Not always, but often. We've done it forever. We barely blink an eye when on the receiving end, but to the average onlooker, our tirades would blow back your hair and burn your eyeballs.
We have always done it. It has always been this way. Obviously yes, at times we can hurt each other, but we brush it off. Cos it's us. But the problem is, it's not always us. Sometimes I forget who I'm speaking to and my acid tongue flicks out like a viper. They flinch at my words and I am instantly regretful. These people have not been desensitised.
Constance Hall wrote a post on Facebook this morning. She spoke about being told that other people were bagging her. The people that screenshotted another persons vitriol obviously thought that she should know that she was being spoken about. They thought that they were doing the right thing.
I'm sure their intentions were pure, however, not everyone can handle it.
We need to use our filters. I've heard people say 'oh I don't have a filter, I just say whatever comes into my head'. I'm sorry, no. I'm not ok with that.
Think about who you are talking to. Think about the way they may react to your 'honesty' or 'opinion'. Think about whether your tone can be brushed off or whether it will be felt like a knife, slicing and cutting into someone's heart.
I've been guilty of this. I can be outspoken and insensitive. But I need to increase my own awareness.
I'll quite happily call my brother a f*cking idiot. But I'm not going to say that to the guy that stuffs up my coffee. Why? Because manners. Because OUCH. My brother won't think twice about my flippant insult because he knows me. He'll probably fire back with an equally insulting jibe. And I'll handle it. Because I know him. He doesn't really think that, and neither do I - it's our personal language. Maybe it's wrong, but we've had years of knowing our limits, our boundaries and expectations.
Next time you decide to give someone a bit of 'home truth' or tell them something 'for their own good' - stop. Really consider the effect of your words. Is that person in a frame of mind to hear it? Will you do more harm than good? If the answer is 'I'm not sure' then just don't say it.
If they are hurting or upset, and you know that they deserved it/played a part in it etc, still don't say it. Chances are they actually know that. No one is perfect. Give them a hug, or if you are anti-hugs like me - a sympathetic pat. Being cruel to be kind is not always and doesn't have to be an option.
Speaking your mind can be a liberating, wonderful thing. If it's used for good and not evil. If it's for empowering, encouraging and motivating.
Closing your mouth can be just as liberating. If it's for protection, concern and respect.
If you absolutely must say something then do it. But try and think a little first. Please.
Claire x
Six months ago, my ex-husband ended our relationship after accusations and insults because I suspected him of seeing another woman. Despite my desire to reconcile, he cut off all contact, changed his phone number and blocked my emails and calls. Feeling lost and insecure, I searched the internet for advice and discovered inspiring testimonials about a powerful magician who reunites people with their exes.
I approached the magician, Dr. Murugu, and told him about my situation. He cast a spell, he assured me that my ex would return. To my astonishment, my ex stood at my door on the second day and asked for forgiveness. I am overjoyed that my love has returned. I am eternally grateful to Dr. Murugu for his remarkable skills. I recommend anyone facing similar problems to contact Dr. Murugu because he offers the solution to relationship problems.
Email: dr.makinidrmurugu@gmail.com
Website: www.drmuruguspellhome.com
Blog: drmakinidrmurugu.blogspot.com
WhatsApp: +90 534 069 3791
Six months ago, my ex-husband ended our relationship after accusations and insults because I suspected him of seeing another woman. Despite my desire to reconcile, he cut off all contact, changed his phone number and blocked my emails and calls. Feeling lost and insecure, I searched the internet for advice and discovered inspiring testimonials about a powerful magician who reunites people with their exes.
I approached the magician, Dr. Murugu, and told him about my situation. He cast a spell, he assured me that my ex would return. To my astonishment, my ex stood at my door on the second day and asked for forgiveness. I am overjoyed that my love has returned. I am eternally grateful to Dr. Murugu for his remarkable skills. I recommend anyone facing similar problems to contact Dr. Murugu because he offers the solution to relationship problems.
Email: dr.makinidrmurugu@gmail.com
Website: www.drmuruguspellhome.com
Blog: drmakinidrmurugu.blogspot.com
WhatsApp: +90 534 069 3791
Six months ago, my ex-husband ended our relationship after accusations and insults because I suspected him of seeing another woman. Despite my desire to reconcile, he cut off all contact, changed his phone number and blocked my emails and calls. Feeling lost and insecure, I searched the internet for advice and discovered inspiring testimonials about a powerful magician who reunites people with their exes.
I approached the magician, Dr. Murugu, and told him about my situation. He cast a spell, he assured me that my ex would return. To my astonishment, my ex stood at my door on the second day and asked for forgiveness. I am overjoyed that my love has returned. I am eternally grateful to Dr. Murugu for his remarkable skills. I recommend anyone facing similar problems to contact Dr. Murugu because he offers the solution to relationship problems.
Email: dr.makinidrmurugu@gmail.com
Website: www.drmuruguspellhome.com
Blog: drmakinidrmurugu.blogspot.com
WhatsApp: +90 534 069 3791
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i want to share to the whole world how Dr Kachi the Great of all the Spell Caster, that helped me reunite my marriage back, my Ex Husband broke up with me 3months ago, I have been trying to get him back ever since then, i was worried and so confused because i love him so much. I was really going too much depressed, he left me with my kids and just ignored me constantly. I have begged him for forgiveness through text messages for him to come back home and the kids crying and miss their dad but he wont reply, I wanted him back desperately. we were in a very good couple and yet he just ignores me and get on with his life just like that, so i was looking for help after reading a post of Dr Kachi on the internet when i saw a lady name SHARRON testified that Dr Kachi cast a Pure love spell to stop divorce. and i also met with other, it was about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 24 hours at the end of her testimony she dropped his email, I contacted Dr Kachi via email and explained my problem to Dr Kachi and he told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happen, that he will restored my marriage back, and to my greatest surprise my Ex husband came back to me, and he apologized for his mistake, and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day our marriage is now stronger than how it was before, Dr Kachi you’re a real spell caster, you can also get your Ex back and live with him happily: Contact Email drkachispellcast@gmail.com his Text Number and Call: +1 (209) 893-8075 his Website: https://drkachispellcaster.wixsite.com/my-site
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When I met Dr. Odunga, my husband had divorced me because I was a barren woman of 41 and I have been married for 21 years. I was devastated and confused as a woman of my age until I went online to look for help on how to get my marriage back then I met Dr. Odunga. Within 48 hours of contacting him, my ex husband came back home and pleaded for me to forgive him and take him back after 5 months of divorce. I accepted him back and then I told Dr. Odunga of my bareness for him to help me. He did the spell for fertility and after 48 hours of completing it, I conceived. My husband got me pregnant and I gave birth to a baby girl. Presently, I am a mother of a beautiful baby girl and I am happy in my relationship. This is all thanks to Dr. Odunga and his wonderful work. Contact Dr. Odunga Via Whats-App number +2348167159012. Email at: odungaspelltemple@gmail.comMY BOYFRIEND GOT BACK TO ME WITH THE HELP OF DR ISIKOLO AND I AM TRULY OVERWHELMED
Hello everyone, I am Kim Grayson from Miami. When all hope was lost in making my relationship work again between me and my boyfriend, I went online in search of help and i read and contacted DR ISIKOLO via his website (https://isikolotemple.com) who came and fixed everything and he will remain appreciated by me for the rest of my life. Too many times I went through emotional trauma due to the unending problems I had with my man and it led to our break up and that’s why I sought help and found out about DR ISIKOLO who came to my rescue. He told me the procedures and urged me to comply which I gladly did and he didn’t delay the process of giving solutions to my problems and I got the result in just 2 days as he assured me. Don’t bother seeking help elsewhere because he is too good at helping people. He is trustworthy and honest so text him now via WhatsApp: +234-8133261196 or his email: isikolosolutionhome@gmail.com