Posted on October 23 2016
I come from a fairly big family. I have a sister and 2 brothers. We are all pretty close in age, youngest 32, and me, the eldest at 38.
These people make up a massive part of my world. I adore them. I crave them. I love them so much it hurts. I would die for them. Seriously.
They were my first friends, and also my first enemies. They were my first introduction to unconditional love, and also pure -albeit short lived - hatred.
With such closeness comes hurt. When one is hurting, we feel it. When one experiences success, we rejoice in it. We celebrate each other's wins and we wallow in each other's pain. It's an inexplicable bond.
I can talk to each of them for hours. About anything. We have shared memories, experiences and heartache. We reminisce like oldies on a porch. We talk about each other. About our parents. Our family. We discuss, dissect and philosophise. We share a certain intellect and language which can sometimes be compared to a gang. It's not intentional, but has been called intimidating and exclusive to those in our circle.
We laugh like there is no tomorrow. I have never experienced more mirth than when in the company of my siblings. They are exceptionally funny people. Sometimes inappropriate, but always hilarious.
As much as there is love, we speak to each other like SH*T. Not always, but often. We've done it forever. We barely blink an eye when on the receiving end, but to the average onlooker, our tirades would blow back your hair and burn your eyeballs.
We have always done it. It has always been this way. Obviously yes, at times we can hurt each other, but we brush it off. Cos it's us. But the problem is, it's not always us. Sometimes I forget who I'm speaking to and my acid tongue flicks out like a viper. They flinch at my words and I am instantly regretful. These people have not been desensitised.
Constance Hall wrote a post on Facebook this morning. She spoke about being told that other people were bagging her. The people that screenshotted another persons vitriol obviously thought that she should know that she was being spoken about. They thought that they were doing the right thing.
I'm sure their intentions were pure, however, not everyone can handle it.
We need to use our filters. I've heard people say 'oh I don't have a filter, I just say whatever comes into my head'. I'm sorry, no. I'm not ok with that.
Think about who you are talking to. Think about the way they may react to your 'honesty' or 'opinion'. Think about whether your tone can be brushed off or whether it will be felt like a knife, slicing and cutting into someone's heart.
I've been guilty of this. I can be outspoken and insensitive. But I need to increase my own awareness.
I'll quite happily call my brother a f*cking idiot. But I'm not going to say that to the guy that stuffs up my coffee. Why? Because manners. Because OUCH. My brother won't think twice about my flippant insult because he knows me. He'll probably fire back with an equally insulting jibe. And I'll handle it. Because I know him. He doesn't really think that, and neither do I - it's our personal language. Maybe it's wrong, but we've had years of knowing our limits, our boundaries and expectations.
Next time you decide to give someone a bit of 'home truth' or tell them something 'for their own good' - stop. Really consider the effect of your words. Is that person in a frame of mind to hear it? Will you do more harm than good? If the answer is 'I'm not sure' then just don't say it.
If they are hurting or upset, and you know that they deserved it/played a part in it etc, still don't say it. Chances are they actually know that. No one is perfect. Give them a hug, or if you are anti-hugs like me - a sympathetic pat. Being cruel to be kind is not always and doesn't have to be an option.
Speaking your mind can be a liberating, wonderful thing. If it's used for good and not evil. If it's for empowering, encouraging and motivating.
Closing your mouth can be just as liberating. If it's for protection, concern and respect.
If you absolutely must say something then do it. But try and think a little first. Please.
Claire x
These people make up a massive part of my world. I adore them. I crave them. I love them so much it hurts. I would die for them. Seriously.
They were my first friends, and also my first enemies. They were my first introduction to unconditional love, and also pure -albeit short lived - hatred.
With such closeness comes hurt. When one is hurting, we feel it. When one experiences success, we rejoice in it. We celebrate each other's wins and we wallow in each other's pain. It's an inexplicable bond.
I can talk to each of them for hours. About anything. We have shared memories, experiences and heartache. We reminisce like oldies on a porch. We talk about each other. About our parents. Our family. We discuss, dissect and philosophise. We share a certain intellect and language which can sometimes be compared to a gang. It's not intentional, but has been called intimidating and exclusive to those in our circle.
We laugh like there is no tomorrow. I have never experienced more mirth than when in the company of my siblings. They are exceptionally funny people. Sometimes inappropriate, but always hilarious.
As much as there is love, we speak to each other like SH*T. Not always, but often. We've done it forever. We barely blink an eye when on the receiving end, but to the average onlooker, our tirades would blow back your hair and burn your eyeballs.
We have always done it. It has always been this way. Obviously yes, at times we can hurt each other, but we brush it off. Cos it's us. But the problem is, it's not always us. Sometimes I forget who I'm speaking to and my acid tongue flicks out like a viper. They flinch at my words and I am instantly regretful. These people have not been desensitised.
Constance Hall wrote a post on Facebook this morning. She spoke about being told that other people were bagging her. The people that screenshotted another persons vitriol obviously thought that she should know that she was being spoken about. They thought that they were doing the right thing.
I'm sure their intentions were pure, however, not everyone can handle it.
We need to use our filters. I've heard people say 'oh I don't have a filter, I just say whatever comes into my head'. I'm sorry, no. I'm not ok with that.
Think about who you are talking to. Think about the way they may react to your 'honesty' or 'opinion'. Think about whether your tone can be brushed off or whether it will be felt like a knife, slicing and cutting into someone's heart.
I've been guilty of this. I can be outspoken and insensitive. But I need to increase my own awareness.
I'll quite happily call my brother a f*cking idiot. But I'm not going to say that to the guy that stuffs up my coffee. Why? Because manners. Because OUCH. My brother won't think twice about my flippant insult because he knows me. He'll probably fire back with an equally insulting jibe. And I'll handle it. Because I know him. He doesn't really think that, and neither do I - it's our personal language. Maybe it's wrong, but we've had years of knowing our limits, our boundaries and expectations.
Next time you decide to give someone a bit of 'home truth' or tell them something 'for their own good' - stop. Really consider the effect of your words. Is that person in a frame of mind to hear it? Will you do more harm than good? If the answer is 'I'm not sure' then just don't say it.
If they are hurting or upset, and you know that they deserved it/played a part in it etc, still don't say it. Chances are they actually know that. No one is perfect. Give them a hug, or if you are anti-hugs like me - a sympathetic pat. Being cruel to be kind is not always and doesn't have to be an option.
Speaking your mind can be a liberating, wonderful thing. If it's used for good and not evil. If it's for empowering, encouraging and motivating.
Closing your mouth can be just as liberating. If it's for protection, concern and respect.
If you absolutely must say something then do it. But try and think a little first. Please.
Claire x
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God did it for me again with the help of Dr Kachi with his love spell to get my husband back. we divorce 3months ago and since things become so hard for me because I love my husband so much, But he was chatting on me with another woman and he always goes to party every night my husband doesn’t care about me whenever he get back at night he will be beating me up with no reason, I cry every night and day to get my husband back to his normal love and affection that he give to me before. but nothing was working out for me I try my best I left him with my kids but I couldn’t sleep at night without thinking about my husband, then one day I was reading a new online about our politics and I see a comment about Dr Kachi how he restored broken relationship back and marriage, i didn’t believe in love spell at the first place, then i have to make further research about Dr Kachi I opened his website I can’t believe what I saw a great man helping people return their lover back and being happy in relationship again. I went fast and contacted Dr Kachi to help me restore my marriage back, after I provided the required needed to cast the love spell, the next day my husband come back to me and apologies for him leaving me and the kids Dr Kachi made me the happiest woman on earth I am so happy, I do appreciate your kind help bring my husband home, you can also contact him and seek for help in break up in married Via Text Number Call: +1 (209) 893-8075 Website: https://drkachispellcaster.wixsite.com/my-site Email drkachispellcast@gmail.com
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This is my testimony about the good work of priest wisdom who helped me … I’m Ann Earnis from North Carolina USA. And am sorry for putting this on net but i will have to, by this world best spell caster that brought back my husband who left me out for past 3 years, i eventually met this man on a blog site posting by one of is client for help, i explained everything to him and he told me about a spell caster that he had heard about and he gave me an email address to write to the spell caster to tell him my problems. In just 1 days, my husband was back to me. I just want to say thank you to this truthful and sincere spell caster, sir all you told me have come to pass and thank you sir. Please I want to tell everyone who is looking for any solution to their problem, I advise you to kindly consult this spell caster, he is real,he is powerful and whatever the spell caster tells is what will happen, because all what the spell caster told me came to pass. You can kindly contact him on: his email address is supernaturalspell0@gmail.com or directly on whats-app/Telegram +2348124644470 https://supernaturalspell21.blogspot.com/ facebook page: https://web.facebook.com/PRIESTWISDOM11
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This is my testimony about the good work of priest wisdom who helped me … I’m Ann Earnis from North Carolina USA. And am sorry for putting this on net but i will have to, by this world best spell caster that brought back my husband who left me out for past 3 years, i eventually met this man on a blog site posting by one of is client for help, i explained everything to him and he told me about a spell caster that he had heard about and he gave me an email address to write to the spell caster to tell him my problems. In just 1 days, my husband was back to me. I just want to say thank you to this truthful and sincere spell caster, sir all you told me have come to pass and thank you sir. Please I want to tell everyone who is looking for any solution to their problem, I advise you to kindly consult this spell caster, he is real,he is powerful and whatever the spell caster tells is what will happen, because all what the spell caster told me came to pass. You can kindly contact him on: his email address is supernaturalspell0@gmail.com or directly on whats-app/Telegram +2348124644470 https://supernaturalspell21.blogspot.com/ facebook page: https://web.facebook.com/PRIESTWISDOM11
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God did it for me again with the help of Dr Kachi with his love spell to get my husband back. we divorce 3months ago and since things become so hard for me because I love my husband so much, But he was chatting on me with another woman and he always goes to party every night my husband doesn’t care about me whenever he get back at night he will be beating me up with no reason, I cry every night and day to get my husband back to his normal love and affection that he give to me before. but nothing was working out for me I try my best I left him with my kids but I couldn’t sleep at night without thinking about my husband, then one day I was reading a new online about our politics and I see a comment about Dr Kachi how he restored broken relationship back and marriage, i didn’t believe in love spell at the first place, then i have to make further research about Dr Kachi I opened his website I can’t believe what I saw a great man helping people return their lover back and being happy in relationship again. I went fast and contacted Dr Kachi to help me restore my marriage back, after I provided the required needed to cast the love spell, the next day my husband come back to me and apologies for him leaving me and the kids Dr Kachi made me the happiest woman on earth I am so happy, I do appreciate your kind help bring my husband home, you can also contact him and seek for help in break up in married Via Text Number Call: +1 (209) 893-8075 Email drkachispellcast@gmail.com
Six months ago, my ex-husband ended our relationship after accusations and insults because I suspected him of seeing another woman. Despite my desire to reconcile, he cut off all contact, changed his phone number and blocked my emails and calls. Feeling lost and insecure, I searched the internet for advice and discovered inspiring testimonials about a powerful magician who reunites people with their exes.
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Six months ago, my ex-husband ended our relationship after accusations and insults because I suspected him of seeing another woman. Despite my desire to reconcile, he cut off all contact, changed his phone number and blocked my emails and calls. Feeling lost and insecure, I searched the internet for advice and discovered inspiring testimonials about a powerful magician who reunites people with their exes.
I approached the magician, Dr. Murugu, and told him about my situation. He cast a spell, he assured me that my ex would return. To my astonishment, my ex stood at my door on the second day and asked for forgiveness. I am overjoyed that my love has returned. I am eternally grateful to Dr. Murugu for his remarkable skills. I recommend anyone facing similar problems to contact Dr. Murugu because he offers the solution to relationship problems.
Email: dr.makinidrmurugu@gmail.com
Website: www.drmuruguspellhome.com
Blog: drmakinidrmurugu.blogspot.com
WhatsApp: +90 534 069 3791