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My 10 step guide to surviving the rest of the holidays

Posted on July 03 2016

It's halfway through the holidays and I'm feeling pretty good. Kids have been great, we've been sleeping in and watched heaps of movies. I am however, under no illusions - it's only HALFWAY. Things can take a downward dive pretty quick. Here is how you can be prepared.

My 10 step guide to surviving the school holidays.

1. Somehow acquire a crap-load of money. Do some overtime, sell an organ, rob a bank, whatever it takes. Because as much as you tell yourself you are going to just have a quiet one, you are going to need cash. Leaving the house these days seems to set off a little detector that burns $50s once you shut the front door.


2. Buy food. Lots and lots of food. Buy all the food you can afford because you are going to need it. My place is running a little like room service at the moment. A call from the couch, a yell from the bean bag. 'Mum I'm hungry can you get me something to eat.' Um no. Get it yourself. I will provide main meals but I am not jumping up every time their stomach is even moderately, slightly empty. This is where the type of food you buy is important. Stuff they can get themselves. Pre-packaged, pre-cut, in individual serves. I am normally environmentally conscious when it comes to this stuff, but this week, no. Packets are my friend.


3. Don't run out of milk. Milk seems to be the essence of my home. The back bone. If there's no milk it's a serious problem. Yes I can go to the servo to get milk, but when you are lazy like me, and in your pjs and dressing gown until 12.30 PM, cordial is a better option.


4. Have one big day planned. Schedule this towards the end of the holidays so you can threaten them with it. You know, 'put your clothes in the laundry or we aren't going to Bounce. Hit your sister again and we aren't going to Bounce. Flush the toilet after you've been or we aren't going to Bounce. That kind of thing.


5. Buy a pallet of toilet paper. Having them home has given me a whole new appreciation for our schools sanitary budget. My kids use enough paper per wipe to print the Bible. Old and New Testament. Stock up. You'll thank me.


6. Buy extra band aids. Do anyone else's kids require daily bandaging? For invisible sores, scratches, cuticles etc? I've stopped even putting them back in the first aid box. They are now at their free disposal like a complimentary mint bowl for guests.
7. Forget about the mopping. It's going to waste your time and break your heart.


8. Remember - YOU are NOT on holidays. You cannot NOT do washing. You cannot. Please don't stop washing. If anything you are going to have to fire up that bad boy double time because if your kids are like mine, they need a different outfit for different occasions, such as watching TV - change the outfit. Playing outside - change the outfit. Reading a book - change the outfit.


9. Plan a night out with your friends. Use this to regroup, cry, drink, whatever floats your boat. Do it and you'll find yourself a better mother in the morning. (Unless you get sh*tfaced drunk then you'll wish you were never born).


10. Try and enjoy it. Not all days are going to be fun. You won't spend all your time lovingly staring at your little darlings in wonderment, pondering how you got so lucky. But there will be good moments, fleeting perhaps, or maybe you'll love levery single second. Inhale the extra kisses and hugs, exhale the spilt Milo.

66 comments

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  • Albert Walker: August 09, 2023

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  • ashley walters: August 05, 2023

    My name is ashley walters !!! i am very grateful sharing this great testimonies with you all, The best thing that has ever happened in my life,  is how i won the Powerball lottery. I do believe that someday i will win the Powerball lottery. Finally my dreams came through when i contacted Dr. OSE and tell him i needed the lottery winning special numbers cause i have come a long way spending money on ticket just to make sure i win. But i never knew that winning was so easy with the help of Dr. OSE, until the day i meant the spell caster testimony online, which a lot of people has talked about that he is very powerful and has great powers in casting lottery spell, so i decided to give it a try. I emailed Dr. OSE and he did a spell and gave me the winning lottery special numbers 62, and co-incidentally I have be playing this same number for the past 23years without any winning, But believe me when I play the special number 62 this time and the draws were out i was the mega winner because the special 62 matched all five white-ball numbers as well as the Powerball, in the April 4 drawing to win the $70 million jackpot prize…… Dr. OSE, truly you are the best, with Dr. OSE you can will millions of money through lottery. i am a living testimony and so very happy i meant him, and i will forever be grateful to him…… you can Email him for your own winning special lottery numbers now oseremenspelltemple@gmail.com OR WHATSAPP him +2348136482342
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  • Lilian Morgan: August 02, 2023

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