Posted on July 24 2016
Some days I wake up happy. Some days I wake up sad. Some days I wake with a clenched jaw, from dreams that seem so real that it takes a good few hours to recover from them.
Some days I can bounce. I can smile, laugh like a hyena and dance like no one is watching. Other days I feel like my smile is forced, my laughter weak and fake, and not enough energy to walk, let alone dance.
So many factors contribute to my state of mind, but the latest events happening around the world are not helping.
Bombings, car jackings, police shootings. Racism, homophobia and political unrest.
I am not an avid news watcher. I don't seek out articles on the above. If they pop up on Facebook I scroll past. I'm not ignorant. I'm scared. Of the way these events make me feel and the potential impact on my life.
I'm a natural fence sitter. Of course I have opinions, but I'm often scared to voice them. I have typed comments to racist and homophobic vitriol, only to delete them and move on. I don't want to be attacked for my opinion. I want to have my opinion. Mine. It doesn't always need to be shared and dissected, argued and pulled apart. If it's how I feel, it's how I feel.
So many people are going through different things in their lives. Bad things, good things, devastating things. We never really know what is going on and I've come to realise that I actually don't need to. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.
I have been involved in situations that were not my business. I have spent time with people who were not worth it. I have talked about people's personal business with other people and I have repeated things I shouldn't. I have listened to one side of a story. I have been there for people that wouldn't do the same for me and I have ignored people who needed my support. I have judged. Who hasn't?
I'm not going to do that anymore.
I have learnt that I need to focus more on what is important to me. Doing good things. Reminding myself that as much as there is hate in the world, there is love. There are still kind people, loving people, people that need and deserve love and support and that is where I am going to focus my energy.
I was contacted last week by a friend to make some beanies for her friend that was going through treatment for cancer. Of course I said yes. She offered to pay me. Of course I said no.
Now, while I made these beanies for my friends friend, I had no idea of the feeling it would give ME.
I felt proud. I felt pleased and powerful. Because I knew that while these beanies were just crocheted wool, they were a symbol. That someone cares. I have never met this woman, but I hope she knows that they were more than just a hat to keep her head warm. They were a symbolic hug, high five and salute. They were a big F*** YOU CANCER.
I need to do more of this. Random acts of kindness that puts smiles on the dials of people. Even if they don't NEED it. Someone doesn't need to be suffering to accept kindness. They just need to be breathing.
I would like to encourage you to try to do the same. Do something nice for someone this week. Try to rise above the hatred in the world. Don't ignore it, but put it on a shelf in your life at a level that is manageable.
Be kind, be respectful. Focus on you and yours, and concentrate on things you CAN change, no matter how small. Walk away from people or situations that are going to be detrimental to you or sap your energy. Kindness the f*** out of everyone. Build yourself up, spread humanity like glitter, and bask in the glow of giving.
Claire X
P.S. That Shop in Doreen are once again taking donations for Share the Dignity. Drop sanitary items into Sam and the girls and help make a difference to women in need.
Some days I can bounce. I can smile, laugh like a hyena and dance like no one is watching. Other days I feel like my smile is forced, my laughter weak and fake, and not enough energy to walk, let alone dance.
So many factors contribute to my state of mind, but the latest events happening around the world are not helping.
Bombings, car jackings, police shootings. Racism, homophobia and political unrest.
I am not an avid news watcher. I don't seek out articles on the above. If they pop up on Facebook I scroll past. I'm not ignorant. I'm scared. Of the way these events make me feel and the potential impact on my life.
I'm a natural fence sitter. Of course I have opinions, but I'm often scared to voice them. I have typed comments to racist and homophobic vitriol, only to delete them and move on. I don't want to be attacked for my opinion. I want to have my opinion. Mine. It doesn't always need to be shared and dissected, argued and pulled apart. If it's how I feel, it's how I feel.
So many people are going through different things in their lives. Bad things, good things, devastating things. We never really know what is going on and I've come to realise that I actually don't need to. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.
I have been involved in situations that were not my business. I have spent time with people who were not worth it. I have talked about people's personal business with other people and I have repeated things I shouldn't. I have listened to one side of a story. I have been there for people that wouldn't do the same for me and I have ignored people who needed my support. I have judged. Who hasn't?
I'm not going to do that anymore.
I have learnt that I need to focus more on what is important to me. Doing good things. Reminding myself that as much as there is hate in the world, there is love. There are still kind people, loving people, people that need and deserve love and support and that is where I am going to focus my energy.
I was contacted last week by a friend to make some beanies for her friend that was going through treatment for cancer. Of course I said yes. She offered to pay me. Of course I said no.
Now, while I made these beanies for my friends friend, I had no idea of the feeling it would give ME.
I felt proud. I felt pleased and powerful. Because I knew that while these beanies were just crocheted wool, they were a symbol. That someone cares. I have never met this woman, but I hope she knows that they were more than just a hat to keep her head warm. They were a symbolic hug, high five and salute. They were a big F*** YOU CANCER.
I need to do more of this. Random acts of kindness that puts smiles on the dials of people. Even if they don't NEED it. Someone doesn't need to be suffering to accept kindness. They just need to be breathing.
I would like to encourage you to try to do the same. Do something nice for someone this week. Try to rise above the hatred in the world. Don't ignore it, but put it on a shelf in your life at a level that is manageable.
Be kind, be respectful. Focus on you and yours, and concentrate on things you CAN change, no matter how small. Walk away from people or situations that are going to be detrimental to you or sap your energy. Kindness the f*** out of everyone. Build yourself up, spread humanity like glitter, and bask in the glow of giving.
Claire X
P.S. That Shop in Doreen are once again taking donations for Share the Dignity. Drop sanitary items into Sam and the girls and help make a difference to women in need.
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