Posted on October 23 2016
I come from a fairly big family. I have a sister and 2 brothers. We are all pretty close in age, youngest 32, and me, the eldest at 38.
These people make up a massive part of my world. I adore them. I crave them. I love them so much it hurts. I would die for them. Seriously.
They were my first friends, and also my first enemies. They were my first introduction to unconditional love, and also pure -albeit short lived - hatred.
With such closeness comes hurt. When one is hurting, we feel it. When one experiences success, we rejoice in it. We celebrate each other's wins and we wallow in each other's pain. It's an inexplicable bond.
I can talk to each of them for hours. About anything. We have shared memories, experiences and heartache. We reminisce like oldies on a porch. We talk about each other. About our parents. Our family. We discuss, dissect and philosophise. We share a certain intellect and language which can sometimes be compared to a gang. It's not intentional, but has been called intimidating and exclusive to those in our circle.
We laugh like there is no tomorrow. I have never experienced more mirth than when in the company of my siblings. They are exceptionally funny people. Sometimes inappropriate, but always hilarious.
As much as there is love, we speak to each other like SH*T. Not always, but often. We've done it forever. We barely blink an eye when on the receiving end, but to the average onlooker, our tirades would blow back your hair and burn your eyeballs.
We have always done it. It has always been this way. Obviously yes, at times we can hurt each other, but we brush it off. Cos it's us. But the problem is, it's not always us. Sometimes I forget who I'm speaking to and my acid tongue flicks out like a viper. They flinch at my words and I am instantly regretful. These people have not been desensitised.
Constance Hall wrote a post on Facebook this morning. She spoke about being told that other people were bagging her. The people that screenshotted another persons vitriol obviously thought that she should know that she was being spoken about. They thought that they were doing the right thing.
I'm sure their intentions were pure, however, not everyone can handle it.
We need to use our filters. I've heard people say 'oh I don't have a filter, I just say whatever comes into my head'. I'm sorry, no. I'm not ok with that.
Think about who you are talking to. Think about the way they may react to your 'honesty' or 'opinion'. Think about whether your tone can be brushed off or whether it will be felt like a knife, slicing and cutting into someone's heart.
I've been guilty of this. I can be outspoken and insensitive. But I need to increase my own awareness.
I'll quite happily call my brother a f*cking idiot. But I'm not going to say that to the guy that stuffs up my coffee. Why? Because manners. Because OUCH. My brother won't think twice about my flippant insult because he knows me. He'll probably fire back with an equally insulting jibe. And I'll handle it. Because I know him. He doesn't really think that, and neither do I - it's our personal language. Maybe it's wrong, but we've had years of knowing our limits, our boundaries and expectations.
Next time you decide to give someone a bit of 'home truth' or tell them something 'for their own good' - stop. Really consider the effect of your words. Is that person in a frame of mind to hear it? Will you do more harm than good? If the answer is 'I'm not sure' then just don't say it.
If they are hurting or upset, and you know that they deserved it/played a part in it etc, still don't say it. Chances are they actually know that. No one is perfect. Give them a hug, or if you are anti-hugs like me - a sympathetic pat. Being cruel to be kind is not always and doesn't have to be an option.
Speaking your mind can be a liberating, wonderful thing. If it's used for good and not evil. If it's for empowering, encouraging and motivating.
Closing your mouth can be just as liberating. If it's for protection, concern and respect.
If you absolutely must say something then do it. But try and think a little first. Please.
Claire x
These people make up a massive part of my world. I adore them. I crave them. I love them so much it hurts. I would die for them. Seriously.
They were my first friends, and also my first enemies. They were my first introduction to unconditional love, and also pure -albeit short lived - hatred.
With such closeness comes hurt. When one is hurting, we feel it. When one experiences success, we rejoice in it. We celebrate each other's wins and we wallow in each other's pain. It's an inexplicable bond.
I can talk to each of them for hours. About anything. We have shared memories, experiences and heartache. We reminisce like oldies on a porch. We talk about each other. About our parents. Our family. We discuss, dissect and philosophise. We share a certain intellect and language which can sometimes be compared to a gang. It's not intentional, but has been called intimidating and exclusive to those in our circle.
We laugh like there is no tomorrow. I have never experienced more mirth than when in the company of my siblings. They are exceptionally funny people. Sometimes inappropriate, but always hilarious.
As much as there is love, we speak to each other like SH*T. Not always, but often. We've done it forever. We barely blink an eye when on the receiving end, but to the average onlooker, our tirades would blow back your hair and burn your eyeballs.
We have always done it. It has always been this way. Obviously yes, at times we can hurt each other, but we brush it off. Cos it's us. But the problem is, it's not always us. Sometimes I forget who I'm speaking to and my acid tongue flicks out like a viper. They flinch at my words and I am instantly regretful. These people have not been desensitised.
Constance Hall wrote a post on Facebook this morning. She spoke about being told that other people were bagging her. The people that screenshotted another persons vitriol obviously thought that she should know that she was being spoken about. They thought that they were doing the right thing.
I'm sure their intentions were pure, however, not everyone can handle it.
We need to use our filters. I've heard people say 'oh I don't have a filter, I just say whatever comes into my head'. I'm sorry, no. I'm not ok with that.
Think about who you are talking to. Think about the way they may react to your 'honesty' or 'opinion'. Think about whether your tone can be brushed off or whether it will be felt like a knife, slicing and cutting into someone's heart.
I've been guilty of this. I can be outspoken and insensitive. But I need to increase my own awareness.
I'll quite happily call my brother a f*cking idiot. But I'm not going to say that to the guy that stuffs up my coffee. Why? Because manners. Because OUCH. My brother won't think twice about my flippant insult because he knows me. He'll probably fire back with an equally insulting jibe. And I'll handle it. Because I know him. He doesn't really think that, and neither do I - it's our personal language. Maybe it's wrong, but we've had years of knowing our limits, our boundaries and expectations.
Next time you decide to give someone a bit of 'home truth' or tell them something 'for their own good' - stop. Really consider the effect of your words. Is that person in a frame of mind to hear it? Will you do more harm than good? If the answer is 'I'm not sure' then just don't say it.
If they are hurting or upset, and you know that they deserved it/played a part in it etc, still don't say it. Chances are they actually know that. No one is perfect. Give them a hug, or if you are anti-hugs like me - a sympathetic pat. Being cruel to be kind is not always and doesn't have to be an option.
Speaking your mind can be a liberating, wonderful thing. If it's used for good and not evil. If it's for empowering, encouraging and motivating.
Closing your mouth can be just as liberating. If it's for protection, concern and respect.
If you absolutely must say something then do it. But try and think a little first. Please.
Claire x
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i want to thank Dr Adodo for the herbal HIV medicine he gave to me and my daughter, i was suffering from HIV when i gave birth to my daughter and that was how my daughter got the sickness indirect from me, but to God be the glory that i am heal with the herbal medicine that Dr Adodo gave to me when i contacted him. i want to use this medium to tell everyone that the solution to our sickness has come, so i will like you to contact this great healer on his Whatspp +18144484537 with him all your pains will be gone, i am really happy today that i and my daughter are cured of HIV, we are now negative after the use of his medicine,my doctor confirm it. once more i say a big thank to you Dr Adodo for healing hands upon my life and my daughter, i say may God continue to bless you abundantly and give you more power to keep helping those that want your help in their lives. email him now he is waiting to receive you. dradodojattotemple@yahoo.com Whatspp +18144484537
Dr Adodo CAN AS WELL CURE THE FOLLOWING DISEASE:-
1. HIV/AIDS
2. HERPES
3. CANCER
4. ALS
5. Love spell
6. Lottery Spell
With so much in my heart I am here to express myself on how Priest Salami saved my marriage from divorce. Myself and my husband were having some misunderstanding and it was tearing our marriage apart to the extent my husband was seeking a divorce. So I have no option other than to go to the internet to seek a solution to my problem. It was there I came across Priest Salami details and about how he has helped a lot of people by restoring their relationship. I contacted Priest Salami and in less than 48 hours my husband cancelled the divorce papers. Now myself and my husband live together in peace and harmony all thanks to Priest Salami for saving my marriage from breaking up. Priest Salami contact information are via email: purenaturalhealer@gmail.com. Whatsapp number: +2348143757229
I want to use this opportunity to tell the whole world on how I become rich and famous. I’m 93 years old. I was passing through difficulty in business and there was no hope of me coming out of my debt. I borrow money in my bank to do my business and I run at lost on the business I got frustrated and decided to be playing lottery to see if I can win and make my business grow and I have played for years now nothing good is coming my way on till I meet someone online talking about Dr Ayoola on the internet. He was taking about how this Dr Ayoola help him to win mega million lottery game. I said to myself if this is true and decide to contact him and told him to help me as well I later read more about this man and see how he has been helping people all over the world. I have faith in him and choose to work with him. After working with him he told me what I need to do for the number to be given to me which I did after he finish working he said I will have a dream and the number will be review to me in the dream. That night has I was sleeping I dream a number immediately he call me and gave me the same number I dream of and ask me to go and play the number. Today I’m here testifying of the good work he did for me I played the number and I won the sum of 1, 000,000 million dollars in a lotto max. You can contact Dr Ayoola for help if you want to win big in lottery game he has the gift of giving right number contact him today and thank me email him today Via email: drayoolasolutionhome@gmail. com or https://www.facebook.com/Dr-Ayoola-105640401516053/ text or call +14809032128
My name is Ashley Vivian, Am here to share a testimony on how Dr Raypower helped me. After a 1/5 year relationship with my boyfriend, he changed suddenly and stopped contacting me regularly, he would come up with excuses of not seeing me all the time. He stopped answering my calls and my sms and he stopped seeing me regularly. I then started catching him with different girls several times but every time he would say that he loved me and that he needed some time to think about our relationship. But I couldn’t stop thinking about him so I decided to go online and I saw so many good talks about this spell caster called Dr Raypower and I contacted him and explained my problems to him. He cast a love spell for me which I use and after 24 hours,my boyfriend came back to me and started contacting me regularly and we moved in together after a few months and he was more open to me than before and he started spending more time with me than his friends. We eventually got married and we have been married happily for 3 years with a son. Ever since Dr Raypower helped me, my partner is very stable, faithful and closer to me than before. You can also contact this spell caster and get your relationship fixed Email: urgentspellcast@gmail.com or see more reviews about him on his website: https://urgentspellcast.wordpress.com WhatsApp: +27634918117