Posted on May 22 2016
Last night I was honoured to be involved in an event that recognised, supported and encouraged women in business. Chicks that Business was the brainchild of my very funny and illustrious best friend Rachel. As MC for the event, I was blown away by the energy in the room. 100 women attended, some to showcase their business, some to support but all there for each other. I believe that it is so important that we, as women, get together and support each other. Nothing makes me happier than chicks getting out there, hustling, working, connecting and supporting. It's not just for the financial rewards, it's for our mental health! There were lots of laughs, lots of inspiring conversations and there were also tears. Being a working, hustling mum is not an easy gig. It's hard work and we all do it for different reasons.
Not that long ago I was in a bit of a rut. I was miserable, depressed and stale. I'd always been a worker and have been working in local government as a personal assistant and admin/project support officer since I was 19 years old. I love working, it gave me another dimension to myself. Not just a wife, a mum. I was happy. Now after the birth of my 3rd baby I have to decide whether or not to return to work. Many factors will influence my decision. Beside the very important fact that I didn't want to leave him, or miss out on my girls activities at school, it isn't really financially viable. Childcare and before and after school care fees are a killer.
Faced with this life changing decision, I started to spiral downwards into a really dark place. I felt unfulfilled. I felt useless and I felt like I was meant to do more. I would get mad at myself - my kids were happy and healthy. My husband is kind, supportive (and pretty hot) - what the hell could I be sad and angry about? Most of us mums put ourselves last. We take care of everyone else's shit, and if there is any time left, we might tend to ourselves. I was putting myself at the bottom of the pile, not realising that this wasn't only detrimental to my confidence and self esteem, I was damaging my relationship with my husband and my kids. I knew I was coming across as a bitch, I had permanent RBF (Resting Bitch Face) and I would rave and rant to Rachel, telling her how depressed I was. She would say to me - you're bored man! You need to be using that brain! Yeah I know, I would say, but how? Where? It wasn't until Sam approached me to start writing the blog for her shop and to work for her as her social media guru that my spirits lifted. I found myself with a purpose. People started to compliment me on my writing. I couldn't believe it. I felt another dimension grow inside me, one that was separate to my life as a wife and a mother, but one that complimented it too.
My days became full again. It wasn't that I didn't do those things that I found mundane anymore, cooking, cleaning, folding washing, I did them, but I didn't resent them. Because it wasn't ALL I had. I had something that was making my eyes twinkle, my brain buzz and my mouth curve into an almost permanent smile. Although I was busy again and I needed another 10 hours in my day, I felt peace, I felt calmness, I felt fulfilled.
Finding yourself and feeling accomplished is not an easy thing to do. It's not as simple as having a great job, being an amazing mother or being able to fold a fitted sheet. We all have different things that fill our bucket and make us tick. It might be something as simple as taking half an hour for yourself every day. Pick up that crochet you started 4 years ago and got to busy to finish. If you used to love to draw, grab a notebook and a pencil, scribble away. Need a career change? Take the steps. If you have to retrain - make it happen. We deserve it. We are not just wives and mums. We are living breathing human beings that are entitled to happiness and satisfaction. It doesn't have to be a huge thing. Small snippets of satisfaction can change your minute, your hour or your day. You might want to jump out of a plane or clean out your Tupperware cupboard - if that will bring you joy - bloody do it!
Last night taught me that we all have something inside ourselves. Whether it's buried deep down inside or simmering on the surface, LET IT OUT! Treat yourself, indulge in yourself and invest in yourself.
B
Claire x
Not that long ago I was in a bit of a rut. I was miserable, depressed and stale. I'd always been a worker and have been working in local government as a personal assistant and admin/project support officer since I was 19 years old. I love working, it gave me another dimension to myself. Not just a wife, a mum. I was happy. Now after the birth of my 3rd baby I have to decide whether or not to return to work. Many factors will influence my decision. Beside the very important fact that I didn't want to leave him, or miss out on my girls activities at school, it isn't really financially viable. Childcare and before and after school care fees are a killer.
Faced with this life changing decision, I started to spiral downwards into a really dark place. I felt unfulfilled. I felt useless and I felt like I was meant to do more. I would get mad at myself - my kids were happy and healthy. My husband is kind, supportive (and pretty hot) - what the hell could I be sad and angry about? Most of us mums put ourselves last. We take care of everyone else's shit, and if there is any time left, we might tend to ourselves. I was putting myself at the bottom of the pile, not realising that this wasn't only detrimental to my confidence and self esteem, I was damaging my relationship with my husband and my kids. I knew I was coming across as a bitch, I had permanent RBF (Resting Bitch Face) and I would rave and rant to Rachel, telling her how depressed I was. She would say to me - you're bored man! You need to be using that brain! Yeah I know, I would say, but how? Where? It wasn't until Sam approached me to start writing the blog for her shop and to work for her as her social media guru that my spirits lifted. I found myself with a purpose. People started to compliment me on my writing. I couldn't believe it. I felt another dimension grow inside me, one that was separate to my life as a wife and a mother, but one that complimented it too.
My days became full again. It wasn't that I didn't do those things that I found mundane anymore, cooking, cleaning, folding washing, I did them, but I didn't resent them. Because it wasn't ALL I had. I had something that was making my eyes twinkle, my brain buzz and my mouth curve into an almost permanent smile. Although I was busy again and I needed another 10 hours in my day, I felt peace, I felt calmness, I felt fulfilled.
Finding yourself and feeling accomplished is not an easy thing to do. It's not as simple as having a great job, being an amazing mother or being able to fold a fitted sheet. We all have different things that fill our bucket and make us tick. It might be something as simple as taking half an hour for yourself every day. Pick up that crochet you started 4 years ago and got to busy to finish. If you used to love to draw, grab a notebook and a pencil, scribble away. Need a career change? Take the steps. If you have to retrain - make it happen. We deserve it. We are not just wives and mums. We are living breathing human beings that are entitled to happiness and satisfaction. It doesn't have to be a huge thing. Small snippets of satisfaction can change your minute, your hour or your day. You might want to jump out of a plane or clean out your Tupperware cupboard - if that will bring you joy - bloody do it!
Last night taught me that we all have something inside ourselves. Whether it's buried deep down inside or simmering on the surface, LET IT OUT! Treat yourself, indulge in yourself and invest in yourself.
B
Claire x
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